according to twooneday's twitter, 2pm went to send jay off. jay just entered the gates and that all 7 boys were crying. i think woo was the most affected cos according to the fans there, he was the first one to start crying and he fainted. poor boy. just reading those tweets made me cry again. this sucks. whoever posted the myspace comments to bring them down succeeded. all 7 of them are feeling absolutely horrid. just like how all their fans are feeling helpless and sad too. there's no more angst left in me. just sorrow :(

FUCK IT MAN. SERIOUSLY FUCK. i didn't expect it to get so so so damn serious. wtf jyp said he wouldn't take jay away and what the fuck is this now. FUCKKKKKKKK. how can jay leave damn it!!!! jay quitting 2pm is as good as disbanding 2pm can. they will never ever fucking be the same again. seriously fuck those bastards who just ruined someone's career and dream just like that. he worked so fucking hard for 4 years to achieve whatever he has today and they took like 2 seconds to destroy it. all cos of what he said 4 years ago in his b-boy lingo that made it sound worse to the koreans. seriously!!!!!!! UGHHHH i can't even describe the anguish i'm feeling now. i'm feeling fucking loadsa regret for him that his stupid words then created sucha big mess for him now. but it's so fucking LONG AGO DAMN ITTTTTTTT!!!!!

when i heard that he's quitting i was fucking crying like FUCKING CRYING THE SHIT OUTTA MY EYES. he aint even my favourite member but he brought so much laughter to us all. i love all the boys and FUCK. he doesn't deserve this la DAMN IT. i never wished as hard as i did now that time could turn back and he could delete the stupid comment he made to his friend then. UGHHHHHHH DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please damn it please. will someone stop him and keep him in 2pm. i don't mind even if they take a break from the scene for awhile now. delay their album or what i don't care just keep everyone in 2pm. let 2pm remain as they are. both woo and chansung already stated that they wanna walk this whole shit tgt with jay and keep 2pm a 7-member group so why the fuck is this happening. and the worst part is that those antis that signed the petition for jay to quite 2pm and leave the country are now saying that they didn't expect him to quit. LIKE FUCK YOU! you guys freaking signed a petition to destroy someone's career thinking that ooh it doesn't matter anw. i just wanna show that i disliked his comment but i think it aint gonna hurt him. FUCK YOU LA SERIOUSLY. when i signed the petition to support jay it was from the bottom of my heart. FUCK LA.

damn it. i can't stop crying now. this is ridiculous really. i'm crying for someone i've never met but love all the same. it's true what steph said i think. that even if jay does get the forgiveness of the public in korea, he probably wun be himself anymore. i understand that he's gg to feel guilty everytime he stands in front of the korean crowd. which makes me so dman pissed off that someone even started this shit. it's something that can't be cured. it will never fucking be the same again. makes me feel that its freaking screwed up. someone who started this shit cos he/she was bored had no idea of the repercussions his/her actions has on other people's lives, including us fans. i'm feeling so damn jaded now. life is so fucking unfair really. one moment you have almost everything, and the next, everythings taken away from you. why work so hard in the first place then FUCK.

i feel damn powerless now. fuck.

kate: so you like wooyoung more than all your taiwan boys?

me: yes, definitely much more. the feeling is so intense haha he's cute sexy hot talented funny. ugh what is he NOT man!

kate: he's not yours. HAHAHA




and she's absolutely right sighhhhh i wanna make him mine so badly :( won't you be mine already wooyoungie!

p.s.: i know i suck for blogging about such gay stuff and not about hong kong but it's just so hard to START rah. i will tho. soon soon. as per normal amer procrastinator style haha

p.p.s.: i hope jaebeom's gonna be fine like reeeaally soon. sucks to see them all sad cos of a stupid mistake made when he was young sigh. i love how woo baby is showing his love for jay. 2PM FIGHTING!

you know i'm bordering perverse when i saved close to 400 pics+gif of 2pm (more than half of wooyoung) in 2 days, and my sister tells me that i give off stalker vibes and that i'm scary.

sigh some good ass guy shd come along soon so that i stop obsessing over idols and have nice simple crushes on people that's more within reach.

i know it's over when i no longer feel nor care about the small stuff.

i've been spamming lotsa korean stuff recently. from korean movies - antique, to korean dramas - that fool and full house (i know i'm damn slow), to korean variety shows - idol show, wild bunny, star king, introducing star's friend survival, etc, to korean pop music - 2PM.



i think i am almost a full fledged fangirl now sighhh. it's like i gotta have my dosage of 2pm everyday. from videos of them on variety shows to interviews to performances and even fancams just so that i can have new materials to watch. when the videos were no longer able to satisfy my need for new 2pm stuff, i turned to forums. what am i going to doooooooo. it's fast becoming an obsession dieeee.

if anyone was even wondering, my current fave is wooyoung. him and his cute little mandu cheeks, childish actions, ssanti dances, and witty lines. jang ang ang :) he was absolutely adorable in wild bunny, wearing his pjs out and dancing funny shit dances in the karaoke room and his hilarious photoshoot. rahhhhhhh cuteeeee and he's my age! FINALLY, someone my age and not younger than me yay!



i do love all the other members too just that i am kinda obsessed with wooyoung right now. 

i did go out and hang out with my friends when im not fangirling.




went to butterfac on weds with a funny mix of people - jer from osos, qw jan from s51 and andrew zhizhong from work. queue was a bitch and so was the full baggage counter. thank goodness for the free drinks and not bad music. wasn't really very highhhh tho probably cos we had to keep an eye on our bags and not everyone in the group was high haha or maybe just cos we din drink enough oh well! i should totally go learn how to dance other than just making weird body waves and shaking my shoulders haha it gets pretty repetitive and boring after awhile! met malcolm there too who asked if he was the first guy in class to see me in a skirt haha he's fun and high in the club tho from the way he dances and all haha




gave jer a bday surprise last sat by presenting him with a lemon cheesecake with nutella-ritz biscuit base and strawberry jello topped with apple slices made by us three! it was fun "babing" the cake as evadne termed it - baking + clubbing, as we had music blasting in the background while we made the cake at wilsons house. it was mostly 2pm's song while us girls were trying to emulate the dance steps to those songs without much success haha we really looked like retards having spasms or sth la rah!


chilled with the sqd at ecp lagoon after that for a short while too. feels like it's been a long time since we hung out after i returned from indo hmm.


had a short but chilled meet up with the hall girls ard 2 weeks ago too. basically we played pool, had yoghurt, and had dinner at astons@suntec tho i din eat since i was going to meet the sqd for indian food dinner shortly after. talked quite abit and found out that they're all kinda worried that they won't be able to find someone before they graduate, just like me! haha the same worries all single ladies have eh

also had ocip bbq at yy's house on the last day of july tho there werent alota photos and they arent up yet. as expected, there were lotsa shit stirring. we also played zhong ji mi ma to clear the excess food. shd totally at least meet up with them one last time before i leave zz.

since i can't really rmb what else i did alr, i shall end this post with cute jang ang ang :)

i heart guys who are witty and can move their bodies like wooyoung hee <3

cool ass day yest, mtg up with s51 girls and clubbing with ocip-ers after that :)

basically me and jan made a non-bake oreo cheesecake for camy and went to surprise camy at her house along with wt! i was taufik while jan rain and the surprise did not go as totally intended since camy spotted us from her window haha retarded shit. she was nonetheless still pleasantly surprised and we did catch her looking unglam so success still!


happy 20th birthday camy!! :D



met my dad at buangkok stn after that to get my ic from him to go clubbing. jan thinks it's uber cool that my dad is willing to come all the way to buangkok to pass me my ic JUST so that i can go clubbing hahaha i kinda agree too hmm.

went to ichiban boshi after that for dinner. supposed to surprise camy again with the appearance of wenhui and sj cos she thought both of them aint coming, but haha we alllll sucked. we would look at the entrance of the restaurant tgt making camy turn and look too. retarded la hahaha



went to meet ocip-ers after that. freaking highhhhhhh with all the booze, lah sai-ing and music. super fun and high la. we kept pushing random couples tgt. best was probably yy and benson cos they kinda hugged muahaha cant help but :D everytime i see the photo weeeets!


caught in action muaha. sweeeeeeetness (even if its just some shit we cooked up!)

sad thing was that none of us brought camera SIGHHHHHH could only use handphone cameras which of course werent as good as digicams but oh well! will do la! hopefully we'll club more before i fly off so that we can camwhore more haha im kinda addicted to stirring shit and being gay now such that i want more ocip meetups!! so so gayyyy rah!


the girls who went! angmoh ahlian yvonne missing haha


john, my associated partner in this crazy shit stirring ocip group. everyone just HAS to be linked to someone in the group. i don't even know why we are put tgt but yea we are cool with this thing cos its all for fun. notice how junrong's actly strangling the both of us to get us in the pic! i'll probably blog details in private entries haha


i look like superstar. rocks :D

 i really really wanna blog about ocip but im so darn lazy rahhhh 14 days worth of memories = a hellota write. i just hope i do get about doing it cos it was really a fun experience that i wanna rmb for life! clubbing with ocip-ers tmr :) go go go!

i am seriously scared that i will never be able to like someone again. when i meet new guys, i gotta decide whether to be myself or leave it open to other possibilities outside of friendship. if i choose to be myself and natural, i would be looking at them as bros only and no further possibilities. only when i treat guys as bros am i not awkward and shy around them, which also means i'll be all guyish and YO WASSUP MANCHESTER UNITED ROX MY SOX LORZ. sighhhhhhhhhhh

if i do not make myself think of them as bros ONLY and nothing else, weird thoughts will run through my head, like "ooh possible target", "cool not bad". when this happens, i will feel as if i have a motive to want to know the guy better. this makes me feel ashamed and guilty and thus i will clam up and feel awkward and shy. 

how the hell am i supposed to get to know a guy and develop even a crush like that. tell me howwwwwwww. seriously, my worst enemy is myself. me and all my psychological barriers. it's the same for contacts and everything that i just got used to in my head and can't bring myself to change them. why am i so scared of changes. loserrrrrr

 AHHHH NOT AGAIN. i'm in the longing for love mode again. damn it. i hate this stupid cycle. must be all the talk about relationship stuff recently. plus seeing couples around doing lovey dovey stuff, be it some random couple on the street or even just fake "new de lor" couplez - evadne and wb with their fake flirting, makes me go "i wanna do that toooooo"

i wanna be taken care of. i wanna be hugged. i wanna be wanted and needed. i wanna hold hands with someone on the streets. i wanna have someone special to myself. i wanna have someone send me home and check that i reached home safely. haiya its just all the things that one will get from a relationship, i wanna experience them all.

i should stop acting like i'm a kick ass strong girl that can do everything herself. i mean sure i may be strong for a girl and can jolly well carry my own stuff etc but aiya sometimmes it's just nice to have someone being concerned you can't manage and making sure that you can manage, or just wanna lighten your load. this probably applies in an analogical and literal sense. 

haiyaaaaaaaa can somebody up there send me a mannnnnnnn.

i'll probably be over this by next week or so but sighhh it sucks right now.

work was finally done yesterday. felt gooooood cos ya know im a lazy ass. tho work was tiring, it was a fun experience nonetheless! i was basically a distributor of lucky draw cards promoting the aviva event outside vivo. it really sucked at the beginning cos ugh we had to stand for long periods and rejection rates were high which was plain demoralising. i also had to eat dinner alone at times during the pre-event period cos there were only two of us, gerald and me, at the booth and we gotta take turns to have dinner.

when the actual event started, there were 6 of us stationed at the south court everyday. we also discovered a really good way of collecting filled up lucky draw cards too! so yea good company, good incentives = woohoo! it was fun getting to know new people too. you learn people's first impression of you, your friends, differences in perception and etc.



six of us southerners =D


gerald, my cool photographer partner since day 1! ntu junior to be who was stumped by the translation game due to his questionable mandarin standards haha thanks for always giving in to me regarding dinner timings :)


regina huang nan ling! dinner buddies during pre-event period + only other girl in our grp of 6! really easy to talk to her cos she's so easy going and funny with lotsa thailand stories to share! thanks for being goofy and cracking me up with your weird chicken and cheering moves! woots!


zhizhong! him and his scary agressive tactics when asking people to fill up the cards haha chatty and has an uber loud voice and laughter, causing regina to be embarrassed of him on many occassions haha! thanks for taking on the i/c role and keeping track of accounts!


andrew tan who is also AT! mr clubber who always turns on his charm for the women he approaches to fill up the cards with high success rate! has really great temper too, being the only one who din mind the irritating supervisor and me irritating him when he's sick! haha thanks for always reciprocating my hot girls recommendation with weird guys ecks! 


renkai! youngest in the group since he has the same birthday as evadne loke. enthu lil kid whose face lights up when talking abt cute girls, often needing the advice of his seniors to charm girls haha! think giving balloons to birthday girl. thanks for being zhong se qing you e.g. sjab ee vs sjab white angels haha!


and yay evadne loke and janice seah! loved starting the day with chilling taitai style and ending the day with clubbing outside the tentage with you two! tho you two are crazy and attempted to sabo me haha wooooots we should work more events tgt!

nice memories all in all for this job! actually i think i'm not too bad as a service line person! i can totally smile and talk to strangers. i think the smiles really kinda come from the heart too! for some weird reason haha i love small chatting with strangers while they fill up the cards and seeing them smile and thank me so sincerely haha 

oh and i just realised that i became abit more teh cos of this job too. cos when im faced with people reluctant to fill up the cards, i would teh them and go "plssssss, help me laaaa, can la can la -SMILES/POUTS-" and after doing this for 6 hours a day for 14 days or so, it's kinda become part of me in a way! i keep dragging my words even on msn haha zomg. bad bad bad. kinda funny in a way too like i became girlier cos of the job so yea thanks ky for introducing the job alright!

no work now but lotsa things to look forward to! batam cable ski, s51 girls chillax, osos bbq, indonesia ocip, movies/badminton/etc with my 6 working peeps, malaysia roadtrip? rocks woohoooo! i love this holidays :D

i took the KWML personality test at www.kwml.com/contemplate/assembler.php and this is the result!

 Your complete personality profile can be described as 38.5% Lover, 38.5% King/Queen, 15.4% Magician, and 7.7% Warrior.*

Kings and Queens have the wisdom and skill to bring people together
Protective, orderly, and analytical, you're a natural leader and an excellent advisor who likes to make and play by the rules. While you prefer to oversee and issue commands without necessarily being the one to carry them out, you're also very compassionate and nurturing...More
Explore the opposite of the King/Queen: the Magician

Warriors have the power and confidence to conquer any task
Confident, competitive, and analytical, you are a fierce and steady protector of your friends, family, and all things you hold dear. You're extremely ambitious, targeted, and determined... More
Explore the opposite of the Warrior: the Lover

Magicians inspire us with confidence and delight
Creative, adventurous, and energetic, you are the life of the party and people are naturally drawn to your spirit and confidence. They also stand back in awe of your magical ability to multitask and exercise "street smarts"... More
Explore the opposite of the Magician: the King/Queen

Lovers share a deeper meaning and vision of the world
Creative, intuitive, and deeply caring, your mind and spirit are open and capable of expressing deep meaning in the world. You represent the artists and nurturers of society... More
Explore the opposite of the Lover: the Warrior

 The Sonnet

Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They’re conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that’s okay, because you’re very choosy with your affections anyway. You’d absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You’re already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there’s no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.



took this test here -> www.okcupid.com/the-dating-persona-test

im love sick all of a sudden again zzz

my oh my oh my. i am in awe. how can i actually get turned on by someone saying 他妈的?!?! i am seriously baffled hahahahaha i must post this here for memories sake


2:00 to 2:26 i kept replaying this part ahhhhhhh he is so damn cute! notice him saying tmd at ard 2:22? AHHHHHHHh FREAKING HOT i seriously dunno why im turned on by that ahhhhhh maybe cos it's like a very real part of him, not for the shows effect since i think he didnt know the camera was still on him. never seen him say tmd or whatever before. makes him feel so real ahhhhhhh i am so sick. love sick ahhh hahaha

somehow, i think i will look back and question my obsession over him in the future but right now, i don't care! i'm not even 20 yet anw too heeeee ahh life with liquan is so great :) :) :)

FINALLY. it is all over thank goodness! wasn't as happy as i thought i would be when the paper ended. as always, think it's partly cos the paper was bad for me and also probably cos ya know when you have high expectations, it's usually harder to meet them, which is why i dun aim high most of the time haha. oooh so in a way i create my own happiness by aiming lower HAHA cooool!

went off to raffles city after my paper to meet gongkia and yiwei to get my free dose of ben and jerry's! yayyy wasn't as shiok as last yr probably cos the flavours are all chocolatey + vanilla + coffee. no strawberry cheesecake! or cookie dough or sth haha nvm free's still good! din tai fung + 2nd round after that haha fatsssssss man.

feel so tired suddenly. i think i will be satisfied with staying home tmr and relaxing proper, meaning spamming youtube videos with liquan and catching up on shows! doesn't feel like my long holiday has started. the thought of planning LCIP and the what nots is kinda sian but yeaa outings coming up when everybody else ends. speaking of which, i shd start looking for a job to earn some moolah for my trips. oh my seriously i dun feel happy now. the thought of having things to do + money problems sighhhh hahaha indeed we always manage to find stuff to worry abt, it's just the differences in extent. nvm nvm haha

hopefully i'll have a good rest tonight and have some nice alone time tmr :) i've come a long way from the reliant and clingy girl i was, i really do enjoy alone times now haha good job!

today was such a torture. i really forced myself to sit down at the table and study. FM is such a killer, so much that i need to know, which is why i am not done with FM yet. 4 outta 17 chapters left. sighhhhhhhh there's only so much i can study in a day before i reach saturation point! makes me worried cos i gotta finish the whole of biz law tmr. im gg to start from scratch and finish the whole damn thing in a day, preferably before the match. ahhhhhhhh sucks. makes me regret spending so much time on liquan yest! :(

p.s. daniel wu looks hot in the show on channel 8 now. wtf i think i have a hellota post menstrual hormones or sth that im going crazy over guys zzz horrible

i suckkkkk. seriously i suck. i only studied two chapters of FM today, which took only 1 hr or so. the rest of the day was spent on youtubing wtf right. i seriously couldn't stop myself ughhhh i'm totally in love with liquan now ayeeeeee makes me all the more lovesick at sucha crucial time so retarded!! but he is so darn adorable i can't get enough of him! talented, handsome and retardedly funny, i freaking want laaaa


haha this video made me laugh out loud like seriously hahahaha so darn cuteeeeeeeeeee


and this, so cute. i think he danced better than mao di. tho they copied the jap performance but still teehee so cute. he was so young then, 16 or 17 i think. he's becoming manlier and hotter alr hes going to be 19 soon yay! we can be same age for a few months before i turn 20 aww darn.

oh crap. i started out being pissed with myself! but as i talked abt liquan... zzzz kns. what a contrast from yesterday's post about thinking i'm cool with myself and bla.

NO YOUTUBE TMR TEO MEI LING. i need to catch up alot tmr sighhhh liquan you'll just have to wait for me for 4 more days. ah damn i feel like hugging. my life is seriously so boring that my love interest is a taiwanese boy idol younger than myself. deprived man deprived..

IT done and dusted. it'll be pretty cool if i can get decent grades for this since i only studied for 4hours or so including studying on the train. sometimes i love myself for being so easygoing and totally not hard on myself haha really man waking up in the middle of the night to watch football match before exams. pretty wilful, like i wanna watch and so i shall regardless of anything. empowerment! not!

2 more papers left - biz law and FM. one's open book, the other has formula sheets. 3 more days of pure studying, 2 days of papers. i can't wait.

one more paper down holy mama! cs117 was not too bad at all! really requires you to regurgitate stuff from the notes since the questions are really straightforward. one last paper for this week tmr - AB113 IT zzz read some stuff on the way back just now, but i still do not have much hard knowledge on this subject. my strategy is to google the technical terms tmr morn and basically just try to understand the way all these stuff works and their uses and etc la hopefully it'll all link up inside my smart brain and i'll pull thru this exam!

gotta go sleep now so that i can wake up to watch the man u match later! priorities, amerlyn tsk tsk. GOOO MAN U!! QUINTUPLET PLSSS lucks to both man u and me!

i've been having lotsa vivid dreams these few days. probably due to exams stress. the invisible stress that i probably subconsciously feel even tho i don't really feel it. watching too much youtube videos probably too haha i don't really remember the previous night's dream alr other than my friend who can transform into a dragon or sth who was trying to protect yvonne from a man haha k on to the dream i just had.

i was some kinda back up dancer for a star i think. then we were supposed to like learn the moves and what not but the star got held up and while waiting i interacted with my fellow dancers haha, which included taiwanese idols like guo yan fu/jun and li quan! :)




LI QUAN! bloody cute and hot but damn it, younger than me again.



and guo yan fu/jun either one of them la haha

sooooo they were my fellow dancer righttt somehow i only remember two of them and no other girls in the pic HAHA at first gyf was like teasing me saying he din wanna dance with me or sth. i was totally fine with it since i wanted to partner li quan anw! haha but while waiting, somehow i developed some weird rash thingy? the rashes actually swell up when i move my arm into the rays of the sun. so they kinda look like hugeass blisters with pus in it. but when i remove my arm from the light, they would stop swelling and instead resume being small red dots on my arm. weird la. so anyway because of this, somehow gyf assumed that he's the pro-est dancer among the guys and said he'll sacrifice and be my partner haha

after that saga, we continued to bum ard. i dunno why the hell there was a bed in the dance studio but yea there was a bed there just like my parents' bed! so three of us went to lie there and started chatting. yay i was next to liquan so cute! started asking him abt stuff like what he likes, birthday etc. not long after the manager came and said dance practise is cancelled cos the star can't make it anymore.

then it zoomed to the following day at the same studio. we were seated in a circle and chatting while waiting once again and suddenly this unknown guy who apparently lives with liquan or is good friends with him blurted out that liquan likes someone. wheeeet! hahahahaha obviously i thought it was me wheeeeeet hahahahahahah it was my dream afterall rightttt he was looking all shy and embarassed when my freaking alarm rang. and i woke up to watch the chelsea liverpool match.. burhhh sacrificing liquan for chelsea and liverpool. so saddd hahah

i want liquan! tall, dark, handsome, talented, blur, so CUTE! why aren't there such guys in singapore. too bad he's like 1 year younger, i feel abit gay going gaga over him haha but that's what you resort to when you don't get to meet/know such good guys in singapore boo. lucky i don't have much time to be lovesickzz cos of exams and all haha yay 6 more days!

yay exams make me blog. only cos i'd rather do ANYTHING else than study. i can't study at nighttttttt. it's the prime time for TV shows and i also kinda have the idea subconsciously i think, that night = chillax time. bah stop whining.

had accounting paper today. i still don't have the feeling of it being exams! im like really quite calm about this whole thing. no sense of panic thus far. couldn't finish the paper; didn't even attempt a 12 marks part but i seriously din feel fear when i knew that i have no time to finish the 12marks question. it's as if i din feel that it's important geeeee what's wrong with me. but haha as expected, most people felt that question 3 was gay. i think it was structured in a horrid way but NVM as long as everyone else flops with me im fine :D

CS117 tmr. hopefully i do well since it's a module i actually like and enjoy going to lecture for! bless me with the ability to write well tmr! i was bloody incoherent today for the theory parts. just like how this entry's jumping all over the place. lalala 7 days 7 days!

p.s. thank goodness jer's back safe and sound.